Abinary
A gender with nothing masculine or feminine in it: not between them, not a mix, and not necessarily an absence either.
- One of twenty-eight Non-Binary identities
- No settled flag
- 4 min read
A shorter entry: the essentials, written to the same standard. The fuller guides are on the main identities.
What it is
Most non-binary words still measure themselves against man and woman. In between. Partly one. Leaning towards one. Abinary is for the case where the ruler doesn't apply. There may be a strong sense of gender there. It just has nothing masculine or feminine in it, and it isn't the midpoint between them either.
It's close to what people mean by unaligned or neutrally aligned non-binary, and the two get used interchangeably. Some non-binary people are man-aligned or woman-aligned without being men or women. Abinary says: neither of those, and not because something is missing.
What it is not: it isn't automatically agender. Agender people can call themselves abinary, and some do, but the word covers presence as much as absence: maverique, neutrois, xenogenders that owe nothing to the binary. And it's a small word from online non-binary spaces, with a record that, on the wiki that keeps it, starts in 2016. A useful description, not a lineage.
Pronouns
Abinary says nothing about pronouns. They/them is common because it asks nothing of the binary. Some people use neopronouns for the same reason. Some keep he or she because changing them costs more than it returns. The word describes the inside; the pronoun is a request about the outside, and they don't have to match.
Does this sound like you?
Take the test
Twenty questions, about four minutes, nothing leaves your phone. It suggests. You decide.
Nearby identities
The distinction is the useful part.
The umbrella. Non-binary says not man, not woman. Abinary adds: and not leaning towards either, not between them, not built from them. In public, non-binary is usually the only word you'll need.
Compare Abinary and Non-Binary →No gender at all. Abinary can be that, and some agender people use both words. But abinary also covers people with a definite gender that simply owes nothing to the binary. If your honest answer is a blank, agender is the plainer word.
Compare Abinary and Agender →One specific abinary gender: a gender that is present, its own thing, and nowhere on the male, female or neutral map. If you want a name for the content rather than the category, look there.
Compare Abinary and Maverique →It might not be you if…
- You lean. Even slightly, even only some days, towards the masculine or the feminine. That's an aligned non-binary gender, and there are better words for it, starting with demiboy and demigirl.
- You're between the two: a mix, a midpoint, a blend. That's androgyne territory. Abinary isn't on that line at all.
- There's nothing there and you'd rather say so plainly. Agender says it in one word and with far more company.
- You want a word that sounds technical enough to end the conversation. This one starts conversations. It buys you accuracy and nothing else.
Questions people ask
Is abinary the same as agender?
No, though they overlap. Agender is an absence. Abinary is any gender with nothing binary in it, which can be an absence, but can also be a strong, present gender that simply isn't masculine or feminine. Some agender people use both words. If you have to pick one, pick the one you'd rather explain.
Is abinary just 'unaligned non-binary'?
Mostly, yes. The wiki record treats the two as interchangeable, and in practice people use whichever comes to hand. Unaligned describes the position relative to man and woman. Abinary names it as a gender in its own right. Same thing from two angles.
Can I be abinary and still use he or she?
Yes. Pronouns are a request about how you'd like to be spoken about, not a readout of what you are. Plenty of people keep the set they were given because it works well enough, or because changing it isn't safe where they live.
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