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Xenogender

Stargender

A gender that is a star, or is like one: burning, far off, and there whether or not anyone is looking up.

  • One of twenty-seven Xenogender identities
  • No settled flag
  • 4 min read
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A character among stars and crystals

A shorter entry: the essentials, written to the same standard. The fuller guides are on the main identities.

What it is

Stargender is a xenogender — the nearest honest word for the gender is not man, woman or a point between them, but something people do not usually treat as a gender at all. Here, a star. It is the best-documented of the space words, and the one to read first if you have been circling this cluster.

The record gives it at least three meanings and says so. One: a gender that is or is like a star — some people go further and name the kind, a blue star, a red dwarf, even a binary system. Two: a gender so other-worldly that earthly terms cannot reach it, as if it came from beyond the planet; the LGBTQIA+ Wiki calls this sense aitherogender and records that it was coined on Tumblr in January 2014 and elaborated that March. Three: a gender that cannot be defined no matter how many words are coined. The wiki notes that only the second meaning has a documented coining.

What it is not: a hobby, an aesthetic, or astrology. If "woman" or "man" already fits and the star is what you love, that is a person with a good interest. If the sky changes what your gender is, that is a fluid word with an astronomical clock, and this site calls it astrogender.

Pronouns

There is no pronoun set that comes with this. People who use star words often use neopronouns — star/stars/starself, xe/xem, it/its — and just as many use they/them, he/him or she/her, or several at once. Your pronouns are a separate decision from your gender, and one is not evidence of the other.

Does this sound like you?

Someone asks whether you are a man or a woman and the honest answer is not "neither" — it is that the question is on the wrong axis entirely.
You tried non-binary, agender, genderqueer. None of them were wrong. They fitted like a coat off the rack.
When you try to describe your gender you reach for an image before a word, and the image is always the same one.
Words like burning, distant, steady, old and singular describe it better than masculine, feminine or neutral ever did.
You had the star before you had the word. The label arrived years late to something you already knew.
Being perceived feels like being seen at a delay — people react to light that left you a long time ago.
You get irritated when someone assumes the space posters are the gender. The aesthetic came after.
You can say "non-binary" in a room without flinching and cannot say this one, even to people who would be fine with it.

Is Stargender you?

The test ranks all 136 identities by how closely they fit your answers, so you see where Stargender lands for you. Twenty questions, about four minutes, nothing leaves your phone. It suggests. You decide.

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Nearby identities

The distinction is the useful part.

Stellargender

A near-synonym with a much thinner record; many people use the two interchangeably. Stargender is the word other people have actually heard of.

Compare Stargender and Stellargender →
Astralgender

Space as a whole rather than one object — the stars and the dark between them. If the field fits better than the point, that is the more accurate word.

Compare Stargender and Astralgender →
Astergender

Usually described as bright and celestial, and can still be masculine, feminine or neutral underneath. Stargender is more about being of stars than about brightness. If "radiant" is the key word rather than "distant", look there.

Compare Stargender and Astergender →
Astrogender

Often defined as a gender that shifts with the configuration of the sky. That is a fluid gender on an astronomical timetable. If yours changes on a cycle rather than holding, that is its name.

Compare Stargender and Astrogender →
Xenogender

The umbrella. Stargender is one specific answer inside it, and the wiki also files the second sense beside aliagender — a gender that is simply other. If "other" is enough and the star is not needed, the umbrella or aliagender will serve.

Compare Stargender and Xenogender →

It might not be you if…

  • You love space, but "woman" or "man" already describes you accurately. Then you are a person with a good interest, not a xenogender.
  • Any strong image would do. Ocean this week, forest next month. A metaphor that keeps swapping is describing your mood.
  • What you actually feel is nothing where gender should be. Agender and gendervoid are the accurate words for absence.
  • You mean it literally — that you are a star-being from elsewhere. That is kin language. Different shelf.

Questions people ask

What is stargender?

A xenogender best described through a star rather than through man, woman or a midpoint. The LGBTQIA+ Wiki records three uses: a gender that is or is like a star; a gender too other-worldly to define in earthly terms (also called aitherogender); and a gender that no coined word can pin down. Only the second has a documented coining, on Tumblr in early 2014.

Is stargender the same as stellargender or astralgender?

Often used as if it were. Where people distinguish them: stargender is one star or being like one, and has the best paper trail; stellargender is a thinner near-synonym; astralgender is space as a whole. If you want a word others have heard of, use this one.

Is stargender a real gender or a joke?

Both exist online, and the joke version is loud. The fair question is whether the word describes something real, and the honest answer is that a small number of people report an experience it fits and there is little written evidence beyond community wikis. If the description matches you, the word is doing its job; if not, nothing on this page can make it.

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Last updated · How these pages are written and checked

No flag is shown because none is settled. Text: written from how people who use the word Stargender describe it.

Sources:

  • Stargender — LGBTQIA+ Wiki — The three definitions, the aitherogender name for the second, subtypes by star class and binary systems, and the record that the second sense was coined by Tumblr user Nbqt on 27 January 2014 and elaborated on 27 March 2014. Fetched and read.

This is not a clinical instrument, not a diagnosis, and not evidence of anything about anyone. It describes experiences so you can recognise your own — or rule them out.