Xe/Xem

The forms

The forms

Subject	xexe is here
Object	xemI saw xem
Possessive	xyrxyr book
Possessive (standing alone)	xyrsthat is xyrs
Reflexive	xemselfby xemself

In a sentence

What it is

Xe/xem is one of the older neopronouns and one of the most used. It fills the third-person slot the way he or she does, without saying which. Xe went home. I saw xem. That coat is xyrs.

Most people who use it are non-binary, but the pronoun does not tell you what someone is. It tells you what to call them. If a colleague's signature says xe/xem, that is the whole instruction.

How to use it

• Singular verbs, like he and she: xe is, xe has, xe does. Never "xe are".
• The object form is xem. "I called xem", not "I called xe".
• The possessive splits like his and hers: xyr before a noun (xyr bag), xyrs on its own (the bag is xyrs).
• Slipped up? Say the right word and carry on: "she — xe — is coming." A long apology hands the work back to xem.
• In writing, xe stays lowercase mid-sentence, like he.

Getting used to it

• Read one paragraph about a friend out loud, swapping in xe, xem and xyr. The mouth learns faster than the eyes.
• Add "(xe/xem)" after the person's name in your phone contacts. You will see it every time they call.
• Pick a character from a book and narrate their day with xe/xem for a week. No audience, no stakes.

Who uses this

Xe/Xem comes up on eleven pages in the library.

That is all this list is. No identity requires a pronoun set, and most imply nothing about pronouns at all.

Where it comes from

Recorded, with a caveat. Wiktionary and Pronouns.page both credit Don Rickter, who used xe in a Unitarian Universalist publication in 1973, and Wiktionary adds that the word was "apparently independently invented by several people". So Rickter is the earliest name on record, not the sole inventor.

Questions people ask

Other sets

Pronouns are a request about language, not a claim about anyone else. Using someone’s pronouns costs nothing and says a lot.